Hangover Remedy

If you have been hitting the drinking list too much,
well, then just follow these simple instructions
and you should be feeling better in no time.
Either that, or dead from toxic shock...

STEP ONE
(while still drunk)
Find Kool-Aid or another suitable powdered drink mix.
If you don't have such a mix, well grab a lot of sugar
and some foodcoloring. It's about the same thing...

Warning: Do not use clothes dye to color your Kool-Aid.
Hair dye, OTOH, is appropriate if the lable warns
"Not for use on animals:". Otherwise, better not use it.

STEP TWO
Measure out two quarts of water. Since by this time
you are probably measuring everything according to
beer measurements, follow this useful conversion guide:

two quarts = four pints
two quarts = 1.395 pitchers
one pitcher = six mugs

STEP THREE
By now, you have probobly forgotten where you put
your Kool-Aid. Grab the nearest powdered substance
and dump in in the water. Mix vigourously and drink.

STEP FOUR
Take a vitamin suppement and a Tylenol. These will
help- believe me. I won;t get into the scientific
description of how they help because I don't know it
(except for the fact that some obscure vitimin, like
B246 complex ribothiamotrinol, helps in the absorbtion
of alcohol)...

STEP FIVE

Go to sleep. If you can't sleep, have a friend hit you
with a large wooden object I like to call "Mr. Sedative"

STEP SIX
Wake up feeling better. Clean up the alcohol induced mess.
Find Kool-Aid crystalized to the inside of your oven
and wonder how it got there. Go out and order a big
thing of spicy cheese fries, unless you can't find any.
In that case, grab a kebab, preferable one with extra fat.